


all that is you

by inthesummer



Series: Who We Are [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 06:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4127932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthesummer/pseuds/inthesummer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy knows that Nico loves him; that the younger demigod has been in love with him practically for as long as they have known each other. He has been carrying that knowledge with him for a while now, but he would be damned if he pretended to have fully grasped the magnitude of Nico's true feelings towards him, the intensity like nothing he has ever felt from - and for - anyone else before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all that is you

Percy knows that Nico loves him; that the younger demigod has been in love with him practically for as long as they have known each other. He has been carrying that knowledge with him for a while now, but he would be damned if he pretended to have fully grasped the magnitude of Nico's true feelings towards him, the intensity like _nothing_ he has ever felt from - and for - anyone else before.

 

It had been overwhelming enough to find out that the son of Hades cares deeply for him when he should have hated Percy's guts for failing him time and time again -- Percy will forever have Bianca's death on his conscience despite Nico's persistent assurance that he has been forgiven. It almost feels surreal, and yet it's _true_ , because all it takes is one moment, one look into Nico's dark brown eyes that tells Percy more than anything Nico could ever put into words -- an affection so raw, solid rock and unyielding it leaves no room for doubt whatsoever, and Percy finds himself _wanting_ to understand its depth, layer by layer, because Nico deserves nothing less.

 

So he does not rush it; he takes his time soaking up the complexity that is Nico di Angelo, all the little things that makes him who he is. Every day he learns something new as he connects the dots and finally sees why Nico did what he had done, said what he had said, acted the way he had acted -- it had always come down to him, always, as if Nico's whole world had solely, entirely revolved around him, even then when Percy had been completely oblivious to it all. Each revelation strikes Percy with more emotions than he could fathom, his heart swelling and growing fonder of Nico because it is impossible not to.

 

He has taken to talking to Nico every time he gets the epiphany, and it is not so much about getting the affirmation, because he does not need it, no. He tells Nico about what he discovers because he wants - _needs_ \- Nico to realize that, although they might not have started on the same page, they really are in this together _now_ , and Percy is trying his _damnest_ to catch up with him and balance the scale, just so Nico would have no reason to feel that he gives more than what he gets. It is unsettling how Nico seems to have the notion and be perfectly okay with it, as if what they have now is already more than he could ever hope for even in his wildest dreams, as though it is only _fair_ that his feelings for Percy run way, way deeper than Percy's for him ever would -- it is most definitely _not_ , and Percy wants equal.

 

Most of the time, Nico would just blush furiously and try to brush it off, telling Percy that _it's nothing, oh gods, it was ages ago Percy why would you bring it up again now_ as Percy points out yet another thing the other had done in the past that Percy now knows with conviction was for his sake. Nico would glare at him as if he had made him remember something embarrassing, even though it was anything but.

 

But Nico is not good at hiding things from Percy, especially now that his biggest secret was out, or maybe Percy has just gotten better at reading him through, so they both know that it actually pleases Nico, all the time, that he is a little bit more understood. There is always this subtle little smile he can't quite keep from tugging at his lips, and Percy can't stop himself from leaning in to feel that smile against his own whenever it happens.

 

There used to be something else too, the very first few times they had this kind of conversation about Percy's latest discovery, and Percy remembers one in particular.

 

 

(It was barely two weeks after they sorted things out between them, and they had decided to spend the weekend together at Percy's house. They were watching something on tv that Percy couldn't even be bothered to pay heed of, his mind too preoccupied by a certain son of Hades who had always made it clear that he hated to touch and be touched by others, and yet had now snuggled up against Percy on the couch, in such a way that told Percy that Nico was rather bashful and not completely at ease but was pretty much content anyway.

 

Percy was still trying to get used to the idea that he actually could - against everything he had believed in up to that moment - make Nico happy like _this_ , that he had the power to break Nico to pieces even without meaning to and then fix him, stitching him back together till he was whole again. He was not kidding when he said it had been nothing short of overwhelming, the fact that he seemed to have so strong an effect on Nico, it almost made him believe that he was, in a sense, _powerful_.

 

It was right at that moment the realization hit him, leaving him awestruck and everything just seemed to come to an abrupt halt, including his fingers that had been absently running through Nico's hair. Nico must have picked up the change in his mood because he tensed up immediately, and his voice sounded so small as he called out.

 

"Percy? What is it? What's _wrong_?"

 

He sounded afraid, _petrified_ even, and Percy's heart broke because it was all too clear that Nico had once again assumed the worst. It stung that Nico would think Percy would just up and leave, but Percy would not hold it against Nico, not when he had been hurt for so long and Percy had only been trying to make amends in the past two weeks. He knew it would take time for Nico to completely trust him and what they were trying to build, but he'd make sure they would get there eventually.

 

" _Percy_?"

 

Percy placed a hand under Nico's chin and slowly, gently tipped his head up so that he could see the other's face, and he leaned down, closer and closer until their foreheads touched and their breathes mingled, and he looked at Nico straight in the eyes as he promised, "Nothing _is_ wrong, Nico."

 

"Then why--"

 

"I just remembered something," Percy assured him, pulling away a little but not completely letting go. "Something Hazel once told me."

 

Nico's brow arched at the mention of his half-sister, but he did not say anything and silently urged Percy to continue.

 

Percy smiled. "She told me that you'd once said in front of her and everyone on the _Argo II_ that, uhm," he drawled deliberately, waiting for Nico's reaction when he finally caught on where Percy was going with this. He couldn't help chuckling as Nico's eyes went wide and his cheeks colored. "That _I_ was the most powerful demigod you'd ever met."

 

Nico groaned and hid his face in the front of Percy's flannel shirt. Percy chuckled some more.

 

"I don't want to talk about it," the younger demigod mumbled, stubborn as he was.

 

"We don't have to."

 

"So why are we even having this conversation, Percy? I don't understand," Nico had looked up again, frowning. Percy tilted his head down to land a kiss on his creased forehead.

 

"Because it just dawned on me that you had not just been talking about my powers then, the kinds I was blessed with for being my father's son, and I need a moment to let it sink in because _gods is it huge_ , but I get it now, and I just want you to know that."

 

At that point, Nico seemed to have suffered from full body flush, and Percy was busy marveling at how adorable Nico looked when he felt a pair of soft lips pressing hesitantly against his own.)

 

 

Percy is certain he would have been haunted by the fear he could clearly hear in Nico's voice had there not been the kiss to remember the day by. It was not by any means their first, but it had always been Percy who initiated their kisses, what with Nico being a little too self-conscious when it came to touching Percy. So that late afternoon was the first time Nico made the first move and kissed him, and it made Percy immensely happy.

 

It only makes him even happier that Nico seems to have grown more confident since, slowly yet surely getting more at ease with himself, becoming less and less afraid with each passing day. And if he is still somewhat scared now, it is of something that Percy mutually fears - that what they have would end soon, never on their own will, but by some force they have no control over - so they can count on each other to face it together.

 

They have come a long way now, so to speak, and Percy likes to think that Nico _understands_ what he feels for the other by now, but he knows better than to leave it to chance.

 

With the memory of that one conversation still fresh in his mind, Percy decides that _it's time_ , and he almost cannot contain himself the second Nico shadow-travels to his room, looking beat after yet another errand in the Underworld. The son of Hades instantly perks up at the sight of him though, and goes to curl up inside Percy's arms without hesitation, as if it comes as naturally as breathing for him.

 

"I'm home," Nico murmurs against the front of Percy's washed out camp shirt, just a little over where Percy's heart is, and Percy wouldn't put it past Nico to actually consider his heart _home_ \-- he can be so helplessly romantic like that.

 

"Hey Nico, guess what?"

 

"What?"

 

"I've come to realize something today, earlier while I was waiting for you to get here."

 

Nico snorts, and even without seeing his face Percy knows that he is rolling his eyes. And smiling. "Did you? What is it this time?"

 

"That you are just as _powerful_ ," Percy says, finds himself smiling too as he feels Nico's hold around him tightens just a little bit. "Really, I had no idea why it took me so long to figure this one out."

 

"… You're an idiot, that's why," Nico deadpans, but Percy has a suspicion that he is on the verge of breaking now.

 

"Maybe I am, but I am not stupid enough _not_ to love you."

 

Needless to say, his suspicion is confirmed, but he's got to say what he's got to say, and if Nico finds his words - his _truth_ \- worth crying happy tears, then Percy is perfectly okay with it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Basically word vomit. It was supposed to be this very short drabble on the two of them cuddling, but somehow it ended up like this. Pretty much Percy-centric, whose characterization I might or might not have butchered here. 
> 
> Mistakes are all mine. Feedback is greatly appreciated :)


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